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EL PASO TIMES

EL PASO WEDNESDAY, APRIL 9TH, 1878

1/2¢

UNDEAD GUNSLINGER STILL AT LARGE

CONSORTIUM DENIES ASSOCIATION

by Aaron Siegal - Editor-In-Chief

Avid readers of our paper - or anyone who has taken a foot out of their abobes - will know already of the infamous Undead Gunslinger, a walking corpse terrorizing the American Southwest.

For those uninformed, or for those who need a refresher, the Undead Gunslinger is exactly what the name suggests. A walking corpse with revolvers and a deadly aim. First sighted last week walking to Socorro from the Rio Grande, the Undead Gunslinger has since been involved in numerous shoot-outs and other peculiar events. Furthermore, the clothes it wears bears the sign of the Gaskell Observational Consortium, a group of mercenaries known for hunting down the West's wonders.

The leader of the Consortium, one D.C Al Fine, has responded to our inquiries about the Undead Gunslinger. She claims that the Undead Gunslinger does not operate with Consortium authority. However, she does state that they have positively identified the corpse as Elias Everest, a former member of the Consortium who died not so long ago.

The owners of the Marshall, Carter and Dark Detective Agency have also come out and declared the Undead Gunslinger to be a threat, one that they are taking action against. Already, our readers have reported seeing members of the Detective Agency swarming the American Southwest, trying to put the Undead Gunslinger back into the ground. We can only hope that they are successful in their ventures.

Records

It's Good to Touch the Green, Green Grass of Home

[♬]

"That was where I first met that poor, poor bird. I'm not sure where Fuller had snatched him, but when I first laid my eyes on him, I could tell he had been with the Circus for a while."

Providence

[♬]

"As dim moonlight shined down on the vast desert, Elias Everest began his journey, walking with vengeance on his mind."

Feed The Machine

[♬]

Coming soon!

Background Reading

SCP-6773

by MetalRavioli

[♬]

"Been a rough week, me and Barry found a new rescue today, except this one was different. We were driving over to Henry's when this huge, and I mean huge vulture came out of nowhere and started attacking the damn truck!"

SCP-359

by TopDownUnder and apocalemur

[♬]

"And, I'm gonna be real with you, this is our last option. If you want to get rid of this bird, then you better hope this works. You and I both know we can't do anything more than this."