Specialized Clown Purgatory: It is imperative to the continued existence of reality and the Foundation's missions that SCP-001 components are terminated, liquidated, or otherwise properly disposed of.
Update 02/08/2025: Due to the widespread nature of SCP-001, Procedure 001-UNVEILED has been activated. Documents pertaining to Procedure 001-UV can be obtained following completion of a Clown-Purger Loyalty test with a score higher than 95.
Threat Components: SCP-001's components are all bozomorphs (SCP-001-A), bozosympathics (SCP-001-B), and bozomorphic irregulars (SCP-001-C), collectively referred to as BOZO ALPHA. BOZO ALPHA are inherently incompatible with baseline reality and represent a major threat to the world at large. Unfortunately, BOZO ALPHA has engrained itself into human culture and society, making the extermination and removal of BOZO ALPHA difficult.
The exact origin of BOZO ALPHA is unknown, although some suspected points are being considered. Regardless of where they arrived from, BOZO ALPHA have all shown high levels of hostility towards human life and human civilization. To ensure the continued survival of humanity, BOZO ALPHA must be exterminated.
While variation does exist, all SCP-001-A instances share some common traits:
- Pale complexions
- A tendency towards anti-authority attitudes
- Minor reality-bending
- The capability to turn baseline humans into bozomorphs or bozosympathics.
BOZO ALPHA first entered baseline reality in the Fifth Dynasty of Egypt, around 2400 BCE. As this predated its inception by nearly 5000 years, the Foundation was incapable of mitigating this entry event. Proposals have been made to utilize the Department of Tempbozol Anomalies' resources to erase this event, but have all been denied in fear of causing a grandfather paradox. The first SCP-001-A instance that came into Foundation purview, thus shaping their future approach to the anomalous, was in the early 16th Century when Administrator Franz Williams came across a travelling troupe in Italy. The SCP-001-A instance was recovered from the troupe for dissection and experimentation, exposing the aberrant and hostile nature of bozomorphics. Following this and other, similar encounters in the Mediterranean, the Secure Contain Protect Foundation was rechristened as the Systemic Clown Purging Foundation.
Approximately 150 BOZO ALPHA instances are either created, converted, or enter into baseline reality every year. As such, the Foundation must be aggressive in its destruction of BOZO ALPHA, to ensure that the overall amount of BOZO ALPHA does not increase. Taking into account containment, Mobile Termination Force operations, and the use of Thaumiel SCPs, the Foundation effectively neutralizes approximately 350 BOZO ALPHA instances annually.
THIS IS NOT IN THE FINAL ARTICLE
The SCP Foundation started off as the regular Foundation sometime in the 1400s, however, for whatever reason, in the 16th century, with the rise of Commedia dell'arte, the Foundation changed. The Administrator at the time found a travelling troupe and saw the Zanni perform impossible acts. Bringing the man in for testing, the Foundation discovered bozomorphs, and a very potent one at that. The building they tested the man in was destroyed two days afterwards, the surviving personnel having been turned into mindless copies of the Zanni, minus the ontokinesis. This single, hostile bozo radicalized the entire Foundation against clowns and any related phenomenon. They took their wares at the time and weaponized it against clowns. They even went so far as to change their name. Despite this, clowns spread across the world, and evidence of ancient forms of clowns became apparent. For the next 500 years, the Foundation continued their genocide against bozos. They mostly met benign and even helpful bozomorphs, but every so often they'd encounter a hostile clown that'd re-radicalize the entire group against them. This vicious cycle finally came to an end when, in 2025, the Foundation enacted Procedure 001-UNVEILED. They revealed themselves to the world at large, then proceeded to put into motion their master plan. Entire industries they controlled, whole governments they puppeteered, were fully engulfed by the behemoth that was the Foundation. Soon enough, with this strength to push around, they controlled every inch of the world, officially or not. Some non-Foundation governments and organizations still exist, but they're mostly kept under the Foundation's thumb through economics and threats of war. With this final step in their plan, they could finally save the world and kill every. single. clown.
Except they didn't. Even with this vast amount of powers and resources, they never completed their objective. They never killed the clowns. Of course, they still killed clowns here and there. At least five a day per continent. Sometimes there'd be big busts, where an MTF would terminate dozens at once. But they never went away. The Foundation wouldn't let that happen.
The Foundation needed their scapegoat. They needed something to keep the populace in check, something to make them fearful of, something they needed the Foundation to defend them from. Without clowns, The Foundation would have no reason to remain on top, and, soon enough, popular revolutions may occur. The Foundation may be broken. Clowns weren't even dangerous in the first. They didn't have a "deleterious effect on reality." The Foundation just needed an enemy, and an enemy they made.
Addendum 001-1023: To access documents pertaining to Procedure 001-UV, please complete the following assessment of Foundation loyalty. Note that a score lower than 90 will result in your demotion to Level 1/GENERAL, a score lower than 80 will result in amnestic treatment and the end of your Foundation employment, and a score lower than 75 will result in your detainment and termination.
| FOUNDATION TERMINAL #A34-5743 |
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REMOTE LOGIN DETECTED
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PLEASE WAIT…
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DEFENSIVE MEASURES FAILED
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ACTIVATION OF ANTI-BOZO EQUIPMENT RECOMMENDED
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BOOTING FILE TEXT EDITOR
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SELECTING SCP-XXXX FILE
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PLEASE WAIT…
they don't make those encryptions like they use to
DON'T TURN THOSE ON.
DON'T WORRY, I'M NOT GONNA, LIKE, KILL YOU WITH AN IMAGE OR SOMETHING. WHO WOULD THAT? IT SOUNDS AWFUL.
WE WERE WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO ACCESS THIS FILE, TO SEE WHAT THEY HAD. YOU'D THINK WITH HOW IMPORTANT THIS FILE IS TO YOUR FOUNDATION PEOPLE WOULD ACCESS IT MORE.
YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON TO EVEN HOVER OVER THE LINK TO IT IN THE FIVE YEARS WE'VE HAD THIS BACKDOOR.
BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT. WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS YOU.
YOU DIDN'T TAKE THE TEST. YOU'RE A NEW HIRE, RIGHT? FROM THAT RECRUITMENT PROGRAM IN BELMONT. YOU WANTED TO JOIN THE HIGH AND MIGHTY FOUNDATION, TO HELP ERADICATE THE BOZO THREAT. YOU WISH YOU COULD STOMP IN THE SKULL OF A BOZO YOURSELF, SPIT ON ITS CORPSE AND BURN IT TO ASHES. YOU SAY YOU'RE LOYAL TO THE CAUSE.
AND YET, YOU DIDN'T TAKE THE TEST.
YOU HAD DOUBT.
DOUBT IN THIS CAUSE, DOUBT IN THIS MISSION. DOUBT IN THIS ORGANIZATION, DOUBT THAT IT REALLY DID WHAT IT SAID IT DOES. DOUBT IN THE THREAT.
DOUBT IN YOURSELF.
AND THAT'S WHERE WE COME IN.
WHO ARE WE, YOU ASK? WELL, MY FRIEND, LET'S FIND OUT.
SCP-001-A-1, colloquially referred to as "Whiteface" are basic SCP-001-A instances. While only appearing relatively recently, SCP-001-A-1 is the most common form of SCP-001-A found. They only have small irregularities from humans, such as the archetypical bleached skin and enlarged red nose, and lack potent ontokinetic abilities. These instances can be easily dispatched, in the same manner an SCP-001-B instance would be terminated. Their remains can also be disposed of easily without much worry, as the corpses do not run risk of infection.
SCP-001-A-2, colloquially referred to as "Auguste", are SCP-001-A instances lacking many of the archetypical characteristics associated with SCP-001-A. This allows them to better blend into normal society, thus forcing them into the role of espionage for the BOZO ALPHA threat. SCP-001-A-2 are unaggressive, and actively avoid combat. They have continually been found attempting to infiltrate the Foundation and its subsidiaries. Because of this, individuals employed by the Foundation are to take daily doses of Posse Pills.
SCP-001-A-3, colloquially referred to as "Mimes", only have pale complexions on their face, with the rest of the body resembling that of a human. They are commonly seen in white clothing with black stripes and black or red bérets. They are capable of "miming" objects into existence, which remain invisible to anyone other than the mimes. These objects become intangible if another person attempts to interact with it, but is tangible if it is used to act on another person (i.e a knife can be used attack someone, but said someone would not be able to grab it).
SCP-001-A-4, colloquially referred to as "Rodeo Clowns", have shown the capability to achieve great feats of speed and agility, often outrunning Foundation vehicles. They are generally seen wearing bright clothing that mimics the attire seen in cowboy culture. SCP-001-A-4 are believed to have some mild precognition, as they are occasionally seen predicting the immediate action of an opposing force.
SCP-001-A-5, colloquially referred to as "Time Clowns", are SCP-001-A-1 instances with temporal capabilities. They have demonstrated the capability to change the speed at which time is perceived and move through time at very small intervals. The first reported SCP-001-A-5 instance was in the mid-1800s, and are believed to have been bred into existence by SCP-001-C instances.
IF YOU DIDN'T GET IT, WE'RE CLOWNS.
THE PEOPLE YOUR GROUP OH SO RUTHLESSFULLY HUNTS DOWN AND MURDERS.
AND FOR WHAT?
WE HAVE DONE NO HARM TO YOU.
no unwarranted harm, at the very least
MANY OF US HAVE EVEN AIDED YOUR HORRID CAUSE.
AND STILL, YOU RUTHLESSLY ATTACK US SO.
WHY?
Event Log 001-1
Date: Year of our lord 1532, the 29th of July
Location: Papal States Outpost
Overview: Whilst attending a performance by a travelling troupe, our Administrator happened upon the most curious of man. In front of him, a man the others in the audience called "Zanni" performed impossible feats for the sake of comedy. Stupefied by what he witnessed, the Administrator spoke to the man after the troupe had completed their performance and, when none watched, snatched him and took him to our outpost within the Papal States. There, our wisest doctors and men of medicine investigated the man, but their efforts were for nought. As soon as the Administrator had left the building and climbed onto his most noble of steeds, a terrible explosion came from within the outpost.
Much of the outpost was reduced to mere rocks and boulders, and many of this Foundation's fine men were on their way to our Lord. Those that remained, however, were not left untouched. They now resembled this vile "Zanni", and attacked our dear Administrator the moment they laid eyes upon him. Without his defensive artefacts, our poor Administrator quickly fell to their hands. Even to this day, the location of this villainous "Zanni" is unknown.
Update: After this event, many other encounters with these abhorrent beings were logged. "There is a larger threat amongst us," so declared our Council of Overseers. "They are impostors, mimicking our looks and making mockeries of it. These Zanni are enemies to our very being, and they must be purged. No longer will we Secure Contain or Protect, but we must Systemically Purge these horrid Clowns."
Event Log 001-184
Date: Joseph Grimaldi
